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12 Things they say about me

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January 9, 2014 by thejalebichronicles

#12: My parents are cruel ogres who adopted me and I have no idea. The only people who know the truth are the entire college.

Oh, and they belch a lot, too.

Oh, and they belch a lot, too.

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#11: I lied about my rabid dog; all those marks on my neck are just hickies. Each from different women.

scumbag-steve-meme-generator-gets-a-hickey-from-a-vaccum-3d7f71

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#10: My psychology professor gave me the highest marks because I’m sleeping with her, and baby am I good!

Oh, and she looks like this!

Oh, and she looks like this.

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#9: See these dark circles? No, not assignments; I was up all night to get lucky. 44430667

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#8: I actually scored 53% in my SSC, but because my father’s mother’s uncle’s wife’s brother is related to the principal, I got in. #8

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#7:I am applying for all the top fest positions possible and I don’t deserve any of them.

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#6: My aunt didn’t really die; I just made that up to get an extension on my physics deadline. #6

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#5. “I’ve definitely got some work done, since I was “flatter than an iron board” a month ago… Because hormones and puberty are imaginary concepts.

#5

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#4: I’m a skank because I have more guy friends than girls.

giphy (3)

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#3: I dumped him because he slept with my best friend.

P.S: My best friend is a guy. Dostana

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#2: I started my first semester mid-term because of a scandalous MMS that my ex holds onto; no,it has nothing to do with the fact that I live with my parents and my dad got transferred. #2

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#1: I am the root of all these rumors. Apparently, climbing up the social ladder is my only ambition in life. #1

– Shalina Abhale and Alaric Moras

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