Sh*t Indian Politicians say


December 24, 2013 by thejalebichronicles

Machiavellian Ministrations: Political Views and Opinions

At times, even venom tastes sweet, but the filth in our leaders’ stinky mouths never fails to abuse, amuse and amaze us! Caution, these mouths are so badly in disrepair that even grandma’s adrak and lasoon paste would fail to cure it. We present to you Sh*t Indian Politicians say!

10. “If there is no water in the dam, how can we release it? Should we urinate into it? If there is no water to drink, even urination is not possible.”
 Ajit Pawar, Deputy Chief Minister of Maharashtra



“That’s right boys, it’s that long!”

9. “The English language has caused a great loss to the country. We are losing our language, our culture as there are hardly any people who speak Sanskrit now.”
Rajnath Singh, President of the Bharatiya Janata Party

Mr. Singh expressing his worries in English about the dearth of Sanskrit speakers in India

Mr. Singh expressing his worries in English about the dearth of Sanskrit speakers in India

– Corruption? ✓
– Poverty?      ✓
– English?      WAIT WHAT?!

8. “I thought it was juice.”
– Murli Manohar Joshi, ex-Minister of Science and Technology
after drinking Ferrous Sulphate solution in a school science fair and ending up in hospital.


Reports say that after a successful recovery, Mr. Joshi quit his post as science lab-rat. Well done Mr. Joshi, governance was never your cup of tea, err…juice.

7. “……….”
Dr. Manmohan Singh, Prime Minister of India   

"theek hain!?"

“theek hain!?”


6. “The middle-class is more beauty conscious than health conscious – that is a challenge. If a mother tells her daughter to have milk, they’ll have a fight. She’ll tell her mother, “I won’t drink milk. I’ll get fat.”
– Narendra Modi on Gujarat’s sensitive increase in malnutrition levels.

"Does this hat make me look fat?"

“Does this hat make me look fat?”

5. “BUT MOOOMMM!!!” – Rahul Gandhi


4. “Men having sex with men is not only a disease but also unnatural.”
Ghulam Nabi Azad, Minister of Health and Family Welfare. 




3. “You are a Maoist!”
–  Mamata Banerjee, CM of West Bengal, enraged by a line of rational questions shot her way by a curious student.

Mamata Banerjee pointing at birds

Mamata Banerjee pointing at birds

2. Even today in Mumbai city, I can have a full meal at Rs.12. No no, not vada paav. So much of rice, daal sambhar and with that some vegetables are also mixed.
Raj Babbar, Member of Parliament

Sometimes, some theories are so disastrous that if Gandhi awakened to hear any of them, he would have shot himself and therefore died again.


And the winner is….



1. “To my understanding, consumption of fast food contributes to such incidents. Chow mein leads to hormonal imbalance evoking an urge to indulge in such acts.”
Jitendar Chhatar, Khap Panchayat leader on the 2012 Delhi gang-rape case

Mr. Jitendar Chhatar placing an order for chow mein.

Mr. Jitendar Chhatar placing an order for chow mein.

So next time you wonder why your wife seems in the mood tonight, put it down to all that chow mein, gentlemen!

 – Achilles Rasquinha

4 thoughts on “Sh*t Indian Politicians say

  1. tanaya14 says:

    Oh my god ahahaahahahhaah this made me laugh more than it should have :’) personal favourite by far: “You are a Maoist!” xD

  2. venkat says:

    “I thought it was juice” – classic

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