October 28, 2013 by thejalebichronicles
Four Chambers: A page discussing heart aches, heart throbs and so much more
Post breakups, some drown their sorrow in tears, others in tequila. Some crumble into a mess while others prefer to stand tall and proud. But amidst all the chaos, one cannot help but ask the obvious question- ‘How did this happen? Did I miss the signs?’
In a generation like ours, where Love in the Time of Whatsapp has replaced traditional courtship, falling out of love had become easier than falling into it. Hence the need to ascertain the many indications of a relationship going downhill becomes most imperative.
So, here it is, The Stages of a Break up:-
Build Up of Strain:
This nascent stage is experienced differently in every relationship- ranging from the petty switching off of a Whatsapp time stamp to the graver statement that usually goes, ‘I need my space’. Sometimes the words ‘career’ and ‘future’ creep into otherwise mushy conversations, hinting at the colossal danger waiting to unseat you. In any case, the tension is palpable and feigning ignorance may not be wise.
The Fault Lines Develop:
Commonly known as The Stage of Obligations, you will know the cracks are forming when everything starts to feel like a duty of sorts; phone calls are made as a matter of routine and everything that you once found adorable has dwindled into nothing. The tectonics of your love life are moving under the immense pressure of ‘things will work out, eventually.’ Denial might lead to the collapse of the already crumbling relationship.
Influx of Unwanted Elements and Unstable Deformation:
A third person is always better at gauging the intensity of the tremors in your relationship. All of us have that one friend who has played an integral part in our relationship from the beginning. Odds are that they have already spotted the rifts and have given you the ‘watch out’ signal.
However, many-a-times the third person can be the cause of these rifts. Cliché as it sounds, you know there’s something wrong with your relationship when all those friend-zoned masses start to seem ‘different’ and ‘understanding’. This is one bullet you’d want to dodge; cheating is a scar, which even if ignored, will take forever to fade.
‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this any more.’ This is it. The ties have been severed and the relationship has collapsed. With emotional debris scattered everywhere, you are probably trying to make sense of a lost cause. While ‘acceptance’ is not easy, coming to terms with a sunken ship is the best way to escape the many unnecessary hours of introspection and memory-browsing.
If life was an American sitcom, we’d be having steamy break-up sex every time that rush of feelings blew our way. Sadly, maturity and break-ups don’t go hand-in-hand. From un-friending on Facebook to changing routes to the grocer’s, the post break-up situation can be described as ‘awkward’ at the best.
Break ups are difficult experiences- making you wonder whether any of it meant anything and eventually sowing the seeds of insecurity. As much as we’d like to reiterate the traditional he/she was just another guy/girl’, a part of us is reluctant to deal with the fact that it’s over. But time, (being the natural healer that it is) makes you realize that grovelling for the past is not worth the brighter future that you can make for yourself.
Breakups are like earthquakes; both are earth shattering and spell disasters of epic proportions. However, both are manageable and apart from loss of property, no permanent scars will stain your learning experience.