Satire: An Open Letter to Bachi Karkaria


June 4, 2013 by thejalebichronicles

Systematically Haphazard: Organized snippets of jumbled up randomness

Dear Mrs Bachi Karkaria,


Thank you for all that you have done for society and the world at large through your columns; Giving Gyan in the Mumbai Mirror and Erratica in the Times of India A world without your ever helpful columns is unimaginable! What would we do without you?!

As I read Giving Gyan, I smile happily as you tell every harassed girl who begs for help  that they suffer from inferiority complex. Of course, no answer to these hapless pleas is written without you insisting that the fault lies with that person alone. It touches the depths of my soul to know that you fulfill the tagline of your page so perfectly, ‘There are Agony Aunts and then there’s Bachi. She’ll sort you out.’ Where would teenage girls be without you telling them that any and every man in their life is a psychopath–cum-stalker? Your pen strokes ensure that everyone will know that all men are lusty beasts and all women, insecure and inferior.  After all, your Gyan is fool-proof and you know best! How can we even think otherwise?

Agony-aunt[1]It pleases me to know that you dismiss neurotic anxieties, powerful paranoias and challenging complexes with a mere flick of your wrist, as if they hardly count, or even exist! Criticizing everyone who writes to you as immature and insensitive is another of your many talents; I’m sure you speak in that manner to your near and dear ones, who, (like the rest of us,)love you for it.

Thank you for Giving Gyan, Mrs, Karkaria, thank you!

Erratica? What can ever be said about this column but that it sets my heart ablaze with passion thanks to your punch packed puns and alliteration. Your satire makes everyone roll on the floor gagging, crying or laughing( I am not sure) Truly, I have seen many look at the column, your name and then begin roaring with laughter. The erratic nature of your posts also shocks me. How did you come up with this name, which so aptly describes your style? In all honesty, never have I witnessed a page where any of the posts are as (un)varied as this. It’s like no one knows what they will find there next; certainly not ridiculous rhymes, sentences which are obliterated of all meaning due to puns and alarming alliteration!

It’s no wonder that you stick around, because The Times Group  would be nowhere without your little column to pep it up. We hope you never retire and remain in the industry for as long as our grandchildren live, because everyone deserves to read your cultured and obviously, inspired writing. Power to Mrs Karkaria, now and forever!


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions mentioned in this piece represent the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of the other writers, or The Jalebi Chronicles as a whole.

–          Idea conceptualized by Achilles Rasquinha and written by Alaric Moras.

8 thoughts on “Satire: An Open Letter to Bachi Karkaria

  1. Aditya Khare says:

    Genius you guys are!

  2. Sadia says:

    Hahahaha! Loved this! Cool job, Alaric.

  3. Well written, truly! i hope she comes across this. When ur upset u’d want someone to pat u on the shoulder and say it’ll be okay (as cliched as it sounds, u would!) but Darling Bachi has a most exceptional method of making us feel rather worm like!

  4. kishor says:

    Well written. Whenever i read her column i find it is humiliating but i thought, may be ,it is a problem with my own thought process. Thanks . Your article made me realize I was Right.

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